Every Family and Farm Has a Story
Why is the story important?
Do you remember sitting at a family gathering and hearing family members share stories from their childhood, or your grandfather sharing stories when you visited? Different times of the year bring different memories to mind. Some are repeated often—sometimes even to the point of being annoying—until the person isn’t there to share them anymore. Then their value soars.
The details of the stories are necessary to understand. History shared, especially the items talked about the least, often play crucial roles in people’s actions and the farm’s history because, for farm families, they are intertwined.
But I’m not family
Farmers have an incredibly close tie to their farm. After all, the farm is where both family and the farm business happen. Transitioning a farm outside of the family can feel a bit like betraying one’s family and the sweat equity everyone put into it.
If you’re not family, it’s important for you to understand the history of the farm and learn all you are able to about the roots of the farm you want to take over.
You are the only one who can assure the farm family that the history of the farm will not be lost at the signing of a sales agreement. At this crossroads, you must realize that you must invest in the history of the farm, as well as the land and buildings, in order to have a successful farm transition.
The True Impact
The tough stuff is the events that, over the years, have created the largest underlying impact on a farm. They may be the issues that broke down communication or simply remained unaddressed.
- Example: A neighbor showing up with a shoebox full of cash when grandfather was about to lose the farm. The Samaritan’s name was, as promised, never shared. This act created an unspoken burden through the generations to ensure the farm was not lost.
The impact of unaddressed traumatic events may burden a farm for generations. Uncovering the root problem may be the toughest task. If someone is showing a response that’s bigger than the issue, most likely there is a deeper wound to address.
Trauma Across Generations
Here is just one example of how trauma can impact generations:
A traumatic death of a child during birth
In those days counseling was not available. The only recognition was flowers lovingly placed on the baby’s grave every Memorial Day. A small marker was placed years later when money was available, or when the family realized the need to publicly acknowledge the loss.
The couple lost one child; they could not bear losing another. Thus, years later when their only child, a son, shared an incredible job opportunity, he was told if he left the farm he could never come back.
Realistically, they would have welcomed him back with open arms, but instead they gave a tough front. The young man stayed on the farm and lived his life with underlying regret and anger because of it.
That anger sometimes spilled over when farm projects became challenging—hurtful words were spewed at family members, young and old, who were assisting with the project. Those words rang in young ones’ ears and breathed discouragement into others. All of this could have been avoided if the situation had been dealt with honestly years earlier.
It’s hard to fathom that they forbade the son to accept the job, because it’s a well-known fact that experience on other farms is an asset and an important step prior to returning to the family farm. It offers the opportunity to see how others do things, to learn new skills, to advance experiences and knowledge, and to bring new options home.
Likely the couple made the decision from a place of raw emotion that continued to sting deeply, instead of thinking of it from a business perspective. The son lived with regret his entire life.
Learning From the Stories
The stories are as important as the farm being in the family 100 years, but much harder to learn about.
Understanding the challenges previous generations faced creates opportunities for empathy, healing, and ensuring the hurts are laid to rest and negative cycles broken. This results in opportunities for new beginnings and a smoother transition.
Work through the traumatic events
While it’s most important for the family to overcome negative experiences for the health of the farm, anyone involved with the farm needs to recognize, address, and overcome them as well.
Recognizing and addressing the deep challenges faced by the previous generation—and then laying them to rest and moving forward—is very healing, not only to the farm family but the farm business too.
It gives people permission to lay the baggage of previous generations down and not continue to carry it forward.
This is a very healthy step for all involved and will lighten everyone’s load. It removes potential bumps in the road ahead and provides a clean slate for the new farmers.
Celebrate the Positive Impact
Grandchildren love the stories shared by others about their grandparents: stories about animals they purchased from them, or stories of farm visits.
A plethora of people are still in the ag industry today who remember a positive start made possible by one family farm. These are the stories that are most beneficial to pass down through generations—or transition to the new farm owner outside the family.
The positive stories give reason to celebrate and encourage the next generation of farm stewards to develop a mission, not only for the farm but also for people who work with the farm.
The new farm owner doesn’t have to be family to contribute to the community, but they will gain community support if they do. Most important, the contribution must be the right fit for this generation of farm stewards.
The Next Chapter
None of us know how the next chapter in the farm’s history will turn out. Our role is to give the farm the best opportunity for success—whether within the family or outside of it.
It does not matter who the person is. What matters is that it’s the right person or family for the farm opportunity.
Another important crossroads appears with critical decisions to be made. At this point, farmers once again wrestle with emotion and business as they try to make the correct decision for their farm and their family.
Here, farmers outside the family may also be given the opportunity of a lifetime—an opportunity they won’t have without a farm owner choosing the toughest path of all: to let the farm move outside the family to someone who’s deserving, ready, and seeking a chance to prove themself as a farm owner.
Are you interested in some of the resources referenced in this article? Contact PA Farm Link today to request your copy of “Cultivating Your Farm’s Future” workbook and companion guide. This workbook contains invaluable tools to help with your farm’s succession planning. Reach out to PA Farm Link today!
Darlene Livingston has served as the Executive Director of PA Farm Link for 16 years, leading the organization’s farm succession education and facilitation services while developing next-level farm succession programming. She has been instrumental in bringing the importance of farm succession to the forefront of Pennsylvania’s agricultural industry.
Born and raised on a diversified farm, Darlene has a lifetime of experience working alongside three generations. Today, her family owns and operates Mahoning Creek Farm, a Pennsylvania Preserved Century Farm.